What I've Learned After 365 Days in a Pandemic

Four big takeaways from the year that none of us expected.

365 days. Wow.

I’ve seen my fair share of newsletters, news stories, and posts like this over the past few days but felt compelled to write one of my own. This week, I’m reflecting on the year that no one expected, but — I’d argue — everyone needed. Of course, I don’t say this to downplay the tragedy of what has happened in our country and across the globe. The immense amount of loss is heartbreaking. Life has been forever changed. However, this difficult year has taught me a lot of lessons (and reinforced some, too). Some of which I want to share with you:

1. It starts with you. Before the pandemic, it was easy for us to run from a lot of things. Thanks to: Frequent travel. Regular plans. Long hours in the office. Hustle culture. Once the world shut down, we were all forced to sit with ourselves in a way that we hadn’t before. If you don’t take the time to get to know and love yourself, then I’m of the mindset that you won’t be able to fully show up in your other relationships.

This can feel really hard. Embrace the tough moments. Be brave enough to have honest conversations with yourself. Journaling throughout the past year has helped me unpack a lot. (If you need a journal, Baronfig is my go-to. You can get 20 percent off of a guided edition using the discount code “HURDLE20” at checkout. Use “EMILY10” to get 10 percent off everything else.)

2. Kindness first. This year, the phrase “you have no idea what someone is dealing with,” really … took on new light. Even though Zoom has enabled us to get a look inside the homes of our friends and colleagues (and so many celebrities) — fact is that there is so much going on behind closed doors. Kindness has always been one of my biggest values. This year I felt like I received it more regularly. We have to be good to each other. It’s really, really important.

3. You’ve gotta be flexible. Wonderful things come from the pivot, and change is inevitable. Do yourself a favor: Trust that whatever life steers you away from, there’s something else on the other side that can be equally as wonderful — and most likely better. As Peloton’s Tunde Oyeneyin said in episode 147, life is happening for you not to you.

4. The most important thing in life aren’t things. A highlight for me from the past year has been building an even better relationship with my family. Pre-March 2020, I was used to being “busy” and frankly, didn’t make quality family time as much of a priority as I do now.

Once we were confined to our homes, I lost all of the excuses I had manufactured. I started talking to both of my parents regularly, and most of those conversations involved FaceTime.

This is just one of the non-material things in my life that I’ve come to appreciate a little extra. Money comes and goes. Work comes and goes. We owe it to ourselves to nurture the one thing that will be constant: Our most precious relationships.

PROMPT: What’s your biggest takeaway from the past year?

Emily Abbate